Could retirement coaching be of value to YOU?

Retirement arrives to each person as a major transition in life. Certainly retirement is about money and health, but it’s also about a whole lot more: which is to find meaning and purpose in retirement. The question is: who might benefit from engaging a retirement coach to help them find their personal meaning in retirement?

Let’s admit at the outset that some people retire from work with a pre-defined sense of meaning (e.g. Golf, Gardening, Grandparenting) and off they go. Good luck to them. For the purposes of this article we can ignore that group.

However, there are two other groups:

1.   Those who seek help from a retirement coach. They get it: that finding meaning in retirement is critical to having a fulfilling retirement, and that it’s a good idea to get help on this new journey. Their coach will, through questioning and listening, guide them to locate their own meaning. Along the way issues such as:

·      finding a routine in retirement,

·      constructing a new identity,

·      knowing how best to deal with all the free time,

·      constructing a social life,

·      giving back to society,

·      learning new skills,

·      creating something ,

will take the stage.

Moreover, because they made the discovery themselves (albeit with help) it will feel more genuine.

2.   The second group is much harder to understand. These are the people who would not naturally seek a coach but, in fact, they might need one. It’s just that they don’t know it.

Here are some possible reasons to explain that reluctance:

·      Lack of Information. The concept of retirement coaching is still new and not well understood in our culture. If retirees don’t know such help exists, they’re unlikely to seek it out (on the other hand, everyone who experiences a blocked drain in their house knows that there are plumbers to call).

·      Stigma. Some might view the act of seeking help as an admission of weakness. If they successfully managed the challenges of their working life they may believe they have the natural skills to beat the challenges of their retirement and don’t need help. They may be wrong.

·      Generational Attitudes. For previous generations, retirement was a milestone that came before a short span of retired life. This has changed, as we now live a lot longer. However these generational attitudes change at a slow pace.

These reasons, individually or taken together, may explain the inhibitions of the second group, but at what cost?

There are several that may arise.

·      Declining Mental Health. There is research to suggest that a long period in retirement - in the absence of meaning and purpose - can lead to anxiety, cognitive decline and depression.

·      Relationship Breakdown. Partners, family and friends may adopt a negative attitude to those failing to live their best retired life.

Conclusion

In summary, a poorly devised retirement strategy may cause you to waste the early, healthy years of your retirement. Wouldn’t it be smart to get help in order to construct a fulfilling and joyful retirement for yourself?

I’d love to know what you think.

Dr Jon Glass Retirement Coach

E: jon@64plus.com.au

On discovering your identity in retirement

In the world of theatre a mask conceals. It hides the actor’s face and intentions. But outside the theatre, we all wear masks too—at work, in social settings, even at home. So what does this have to do with retirement?

Retirement is a gift of time that allows self-reflection and a chance to remove our mask and learn more about ourselves. With the mask off, we begin to see our identity more clearly.

Here are just a few examples of what we might find:

1.  Social Circle: Without the social scaffolding of work, some retirees discover that their circle of friends is smaller than they imagined.

2.  Mental Void: Others realise that work provided the lion’s share of their mental stimulation—and now that it’s gone, they feel lost.

3.  Hobbies: For some, retirement brings an uncomfortable truth—they’ve never cultivated interests outside their job.

4.  Alpha People: And then there’s the high-achiever who, mask removed, clings to an intensity—filled retirement of relentless activity, as if afraid of stillness.

These discoveries - while they may be confronting - are a positive. They are invitations to treat your retirement as a canvas for re-fashioning your identity. And with the right guidance, it can become the most authentic chapter of your life.

As a retirement coach, I help people navigate this transition to retirement with clarity and confidence. I invite you to reach out to me at the website below.

Jon Glass – Retirement Coach
64plus.com.au

Three tips for adding spice to your retired life

Retirement is a time to enjoy the dividend of happiness that comes your way once you stop working.

However, some find it difficult to fully engage with all the free time, lack of routine or simply not having direction from a boss. We all experience retirement differently. Here are some tips to add spice to your retirement.

1.   Reflect on your identity in retired life

What does this mean you ask? Well, you had an identity when you worked, whether as a bus driver or prime minister. Now do you want to be known as a “retired person”? Probably not. So will you be a volunteer, an oboe player, a bushwalker? The choice is yours to make.

2.   Make a new friend

You may already have lots of friends, but the chances are that during your busy work life friendships waned and lapsed. OK, why not make new friends. Impossible? No. Challenging? Yes. Perhaps join a club or take up a hobby or do a course. That way you have a chance to meet new people and who knows, make a friend or two.

3.   Visit a part of your town you’ve never seen before

It’s so easy to go stale in retirement, living under a predictable regime and finding that you are getting bored. Not good. Here’s a simple trick to engage your curiosity muscle: visit a part of your town/city you’ve never been to and observe. Who knows what you’ll see. 

Please visit:

https://www.64plus.com.au/contact

To get more ideas. The door is open.

Jon Glass Retirement Coach.

A podcast with Dr Jon and Bec Wilson

It was a pleasure joining Bec Wilson’s Prime Time podcast to chat about making an effective emotional transition to life after work. We covered:

✅ Taking a portfolio approach to new activities in retirement
✅ The importance of designing new routines and rhythms that work for you
✅ Nurturing social connections and remaining open to new experiences

Have a listen below:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-your-new-rhythm/id1710995058?i=1000710301833

A story and a fact

 A friend told me of her recent experience at a supermarket. As she was wheeling her trolley to the carpark a woman, a complete stranger, trollied up to her and started to speak.

 The woman motioned towards her husband, who was walking at some distance behind her. She complained that since he retired he was always with her, driving her mad. The subtext was that the woman had been doing the shopping for decades, perfectly content to be on her own. Now he was always there!

A propos of supermarkets, I believe that in the Netherlands there are special checkout lanes where the checkout person will happily engage in a conversation with you, if that is what you would like. My guess is that this performs a social role to help lonely people. The Dutch also have public houses called “chat houses” in which strangers and friends can meet and talk. Food for thought.

A positive attitude about aging could improve your health outcomes. So claims Harvard research.

People with more positive attitudes about growing old tend to live longer and healthier lives than those with negative thoughts about aging, according to recent research.

A study of 14,000 adults over age 50, co-authored by experts at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, found that the people who had the highest satisfaction with aging had a 43% lower risk of dying from any cause over a four-year period compared with those who were the least satisfied. The study also found that people more satisfied with the aging process had lower risk for conditions such as diabetes, stroke, cancer, and heart disease; better cognitive functioning; were more likely to engage in physical activity and less likely to have trouble sleeping; were less lonely and depressed; and were more optimistic with a greater sense of purpose.

“There’s a connection between mindsets and health behaviors,” said Eric Kim, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia and an affiliate researcher at the Lee Kum Sheung Center for Health and Happiness at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, in an August 19, 2022 article in American Heart Association News. “One leads to the other.”

Kim offered suggestions on how to develop a more positive attitude about aging:

• Maintain a sense of purpose by finding projects that align with your values

• Reject negative stereotypes about aging, such as the idea that poor physical health is inevitable for older adults

• Stay socially active, for instance by joining a club or getting involved with a community organization

• Try new activities or teach skills or crafts to others

Things you might miss from your worklife once you have retired

Things you may miss from work

As I always say with regard to retirement: you won’t know what it’s like till you get there. You may find that statement puzzling, particularly if retirment is a life-destination you have been craving for years, but please bear with me.

To set the scene I have a question. The question I want to pose is this: which aspects of your work life will you miss when you retire? Before you rush in and say “Nothing. I’ll be thrilled to get out of there and turn the page to a new chapter of my life”, let me challenge you.

I choose to challenge you with examples, albeit a small sample of three, as each person’s experience will look different.

1.   FIP

I heard this acronym recently on a podcast. FIP stands for Formerly Important Person (I use the acronym RDS. Relevance Deprivation Syndrome, but they are the same). Now this may not apply to you but in my work as a retirement coach I often witness it, because if you were in any position of seniority at work then in retirement you will quickly notice that your phone is not beeping and your email has gone quiet. You may rejoice or weep at this, and as I don’t know you I can’t tell, but I predict you will have a reaction.

2.   Identity

Whether you drove a train or had a high political position you certainly had an identity at work that informed strangers of what you did for a living. In retirement do you want to be known simply as “that retired person”? I doubt it.

3.   Being valued by others

I’m sure your work colleagues (if you had them) valued your work. If not you probably didn’t last in the job. So isn’t being valued a good thing, didn’t it make you feel worthy? Where will you derive that feeling of being valued in retired life? 

I’ve outlined a few aspects of work you may miss. There are many, many more I could have chosen, but if any of these three resonates with you, what will you do about it?

That’s a question I’d be happy to answer if you email me at jon@64plus.com.au

Jon Glass Retirement Coach

Weather and Retirement

Seriously, can there be a connection between weather and retirement? I'm not saying there is. I want to employ weather as a metaphor rather than actually connecting it to retired life. What is my metaphor?

 Let me explain. When I worked full-time there was a constant stream of activity, without end. So in the language of the weather, it rained every day without stop (except weekends and holidays). As a retired person I have discovered something different.

 But first a few facts about me. The truth is that I am semi-retired. What do I do with my time? First, I'm a retirement coach; but you knew that already. In addition to that I have several hobbies, such as: learning languages, learning to play the piano (badly), I have my own podcast (called Talk About Friends), I do some charity work and - oh I almost forgot - I'm a grandfather. This is called a portfolio life in retirement.

 All that makes for a busy life. Well sort of. It occurred to me that there are days (and today is such a day) when not much is happening for me. Back to the weather, I call that a day of full sunshine. That’s a welcome relief and gives me a chance to relax.

 However sometimes I find myself mildly anxious with that lack of activity because, above all, I want to lead an active portfolio life. But here’s the lovely thing. Just as night follows day, so rain follows sunshine and some days later I always find myself busy and fully active in my portfolio again.

 This is the benefit of a portfolio life. It gives structure, routine and a level of predictability about how busy you will be. Let me stress that a good portfolio life in retirement is one in which you are as busy as you choose. That is a consequence of working out your meaning/purpose in retired life.

 Please email me at jon@64plus.com.au if you want help to construct your portfolio life in retirement.

Retirement Conversations

Introduction

Even in retirement it’s good practise to sharpen your focus on the future by asking questions of yourself. Here is an example to ponder.

Retirement is your gift of time: an opportunity to reflect on yourself and your relationships, beyond the noise, distraction and hurly-burly of a work life. Here is a way to make use of that gift: think about the conversations you have with friends and family now that you are retired and time is no longer your master.

Are you totally satisfied? Do you think improvement is possible? If your answer is “yes” and “no” then read no further.  But if you are curious about enriching your interactions then let’s explore what makes conversations meaningful.

A good starting point is the Oxford English Dictionary, in which we read that a conversation is

“Interchange of thought and words”.

Obviously there are words and thoughts in conversations, so there isn’t much more to add. There remains that strange word “interchange”, which I call the back and forth of conversation. To better understand what this means, let's examine different types of conversations retirees often engage in.

Types of conversational interchanges between retirees

Here is a preliminary list, which is by no means meant to be exhaustive.

1.   Catch-up between long-time friends

I recently had the good fortune to casually overhear a conversation between two men, probably in their 70s, that consisted of an interchange of recollections. As far as I could tell their two hours together centred on the topics of rowing and camping in the countryside. Everything said related to their deep past, but they seemed happy.

2.   Boasting

This is a conversational mode in which the achievements of brilliant grandchildren, and to a lesser extent children, are catalogued and recited in depth. While pride is natural, these conversations can sometimes feel more like recitals than dialogues.

3.   Anecdotes

We all tell anecdotes. The aim is typically to amuse rather than inform. The atmosphere of anecdotes often becomes competitive. Who can tell the best anecdote, a competition probably better suited to actors and professional comedians than ordinary people.

4.   Grievances

This is a biggie. Eavesdrop on any conversation in public, on the bus, in a café, in the street and you’re guaranteed to hear one. Often you hear words and phrases such as:

·       You’ll never guess what she said next

·       How dare they, it’s too much

Usually the grievance is a story that masks a deeper discontent, and wouldn’t you like to know what that is.

5.   Technical

These usually convey information, say about politics. However, when you hear them they are often someone else’s opinion from a newspaper or TV served up warm on a plate as if they are original insights.

6.   Having a laugh

Isn’t it fun when you chat with friends where the aim is to generate laughs? These can be the most rewarding conversations.

7.   Adding spice

You could try to freshen up the conversation with some inspiring questions. For example, by asking people to name a character trait they wish they could acquire and another they would love to jettison. This invites spontaneity and self-reflection, which can make the conversation more engaging.

8.   Emotional interchange

 Small talk has its place, but sometimes you want to go deep with friends. This provides a space in which to share struggles, frustrations, and personal growth. Supporting a friend through life’s challenges can create stronger, more meaningful connections.

 Conclusion

Are your conversations bringing you true satisfaction? Of course, not every exchange will be life-changing, but it’s worth reflecting on your interactions from time to time. Ask yourself:

• Did I walk away having learned something new?

• Was I more passive than I wanted?

• Did our conversation focus on the future rather than just nostalgia?

Retirement offers the freedom to engage in richer, more fulfilling conversations. Why not take up the offer?

Why can’t I stop working and retire?

A previous article examined some reasons why people stop work and retire. Amazingly, the list of retirement triggers grew to 13, and there are probably many more:

https://www.64plus.com.au/blog/2025/1/22/retirement-can-arrive-in-many-ways

Let’s flip the narrative and explore a group of people who seem to have no desire to stop working, then find out why. The article above lists enough reasons to conclude that, if you work for someone else, then almost inevitably retirement will come to your door. You may disagree, but at least it lends a foundation to the argument. What next?

The key is to focus on self-employed people. Then the article above is less likely to apply (although it may still). Also, let me be clear on one thing: if there is a financial imperative to keep working then so be it.

The phrase I have heard from self-employed people aged in their 60s is:

“I get so much mental and intellectual stimulation from work, how could I possibly replace that if I retire?”

I can’t quibble with that, as everyone has their own set of priorities, however I can challenge that thinking with some questions:

·       Are you sure that work, after four decades plus, isn’t just a habit?

·       Have you truly looked outside work to seek intellectual stimulation?

·       Is this statement of yours nothing more than an expression of your fear of the unknown?

·       Are you haunted by the fear of failure that may occur if you do retire and find yourself unsatisfied?

·       Aren’t you the least bit curious to see what might happen if you begin to cross the bridge to retirement?

Are these questions you would like to explore further? Why not reach out for a deeper discussion at:

https://www.64plus.com.au/contact

Jon Glass Retirement Coach 64PLUS