A quiz on retirement

Make sure you 1) load it into Chrome 2) take the test then go to the end to see my comments.

https://brandedcontent.nine.com.au/isf/what-is-your-retirement-personality/

Please reach out to 64PLUS for more help on your transition to retirement:

https://www.64plus.com.au/contact

Motivation in Retirement: The Three C's.

You want to stay sharp and maintain a level of emotional balance in your retirement, don’t you?

Well, here are three tips for you.

Lifelong learning. There are plenty of on-line courses you can take in any subject that interests you. Coursera, edX and certain universities are places where you can easily find courses. Some are even free. Or maybe take up and learn a new skill: a musical instrument, a language, woodwork. The list goes on.

Social network. Make the effort to keep up with old friends. That’s great, but also try to make some new friends. Volunteering, joining community groups and taking courses in a college are ways to make new friends and acquaintances.

Stay curious. This may sound abstract but retirement gives you a chance to be creative in a way that maybe work never did. Taking up small projects such as genealogy, gardening etc can get you thinking and behaving differently. Even taking a different path on your regular walk and observing the new environment closely can stimulate your curiosity.

Finding a blend of these practices - tailored to your preferences and energy levels - will make for a fulfilling retirement while keeping you both sharp and balanced and make you an even more interesting person.

Imbalances and asymmetries in retirement

Asymmetries in Retirement

If you have a partner, this article may resonate with you. If you don’t, you might know someone who would benefit from reading it.

I want to discuss two stages in the transition to, and experience of, retirement—both of which involve couples, whether married, de facto, or in another arrangement.

The first stage occurs when one person in the couple retires while the other continues to work. This situation often brings about challenges due to the imbalance—or asymmetry—between them. For instance, the partner who is still working may come home eager to share stories from the day, while the retired partner may have fewer to contribute. Or, the working partner may feel frustrated by still needing to earn money while the other does not. These issues, though natural, can be resolved. For example, the partner at home might take on more household responsibilities as a way to contribute. Communication is essential here to ensure understanding and balance.

Now, let’s consider a second scenario: both partners have retired. Here, a different source of tension can emerge if one person wants to embrace a phase of personal growth, while the other prefers a more defensive, status-quo approach. What do I mean by these terms?

A defensive mindset seeks stability, aiming to maintain things as they are. A growth mindset, on the other hand, looks for new challenges and opportunities, whether through travel, study, or social networking. Such differences in outlook can cause friction, but with open communication, couples can find ways to support each other’s desires.

In summary, there are two primary sources of potential conflict as couples transition into retirement. I believe both can be addressed and resolved through communication—and possibly with the help of a retirement coach. Please reach out for help….contact details are on this website.

Three things about your retirement that family may not draw your attention to

I'd like to discuss three things in your retired life that your family and friends may be reluctant to talk about by bringing them to your attention.

First is they may observe that you're spending what they consider to be an exorbitant amount of time on social media: WhatsApp Facebook etc.

Second they may observe that your circle of friends is rapidly diminishing and have concern about that, and again, I'm putting that under the category of things they may not bring to your attention.

Thirdly, and perhaps worst of all, they might come to the conclusion that you're not learning and dare I say that you're getting a little bit boring. What a horrible word to use.

Anyway help is at hand: this is what a retirement coach can help you with. A retirement coach can help you to devise your life of activities that are consistent with your inner self, your core values, and your core needs.

 Please reach out to me for some help.

Choice

I was chatting with an old friend recently. He has been retired for several years from a fulfilling white collar job. He is a man with many hobbies but also some obligations. His hobby is learning languages, his principal obligation is sitting on a strata committee.

It was in talking about his obligations that we hit upon an interesting component of his retired life: he feels the tension between his hobbies and his obligations. In more detail, he’s starting to resent his lack of control over the time he has each week. 

His strata committee obligation makes serious demands on his time, while his hobby is his passion and he would like to devote more to it.

The fork in the road for him is: should he throw off the yoke of obligations and allow himself free reign to pursue his hobbies or, should he continue on his current trajectory.

As with most of these matters there is probably a compromise in the middle somewhere. But the sense I got is that control is a word he would like to grab back in his life. Let’s develop this idea of control further, in a practical way.

Many people who have succeeded in making the transition to retired life may find after several years that they need to re-calibrate their retirement. That is to say: have another look at what suits them. This entails having a long think about their goals, their energy levels, their current family environment and other matters.

You may have a different set of obligations and passions from my friend, but there is a general point here that will apply to you. As retired people we know that we only have the gift of a finite amount of time, so lack of control may loom as a problem to be solved. Bear in mind that your retirement will have several phases: it is sound practice to consider change as you pass through the phases of your retirement.

So in the flux of these changes will you have the level of control you desire? A retirement coach can help you to work through this issue.

Stress and Retirement

Check out the video by clicking below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=918Onaa6kGM

Please email me (details are on the website) with questions.

Retired life is perfect, isn't it?

I’m guessing you’ve worked hard at your job for 40 years, you’re getting older, you deserve a great retired life. That’s obvious. Except maybe for those whose work life ended in termination, who then can’t find another job, so retirement has been forced on them.

Let’s not spoil a good story. So here you are in what is called the honeymoon period of retirement, where you sleep in and then complete those pesky tasks you never had time for when you worked and that makes you feel great.

But all honeymoon periods end. What now? Well, you’re playing golf or bridge or pickleball and having lots of fun. As well, you have a routine that gets you out of the house as much as you want. But have you put all your eggs in one basket: what happens if you start to feel jaded by those activities?

This could be the perfect opportunity to find out what your deepest needs are. Then you can fulfill them.

For example, in your retired life, do you want to:

·       Use your skills to mentor people

·       Volunteer

·       Learn something new or improve on an old skill

·       Have a bigger social life

Only you know, but I would say that the answer won’t be obvious to you. Why is this important? Let me digress.

Wait, there is more. What if you have a partner and your partner is still working, yet you have retired? This can raise tensions around the issue of who does what in the house. What can you do?

Let’s not ignore your social life. If you take the attitude of “build it and they will come” then you may be disappointed. Typically social life happens because you make it happen. How?

Finally let me mention a thorny topic: your emotions. If you thought that retired life must mean you no longer live within a maelstrom of emotions (for example because you go fishing from dawn to dusk) then let me mention my experience. The world of grandparenting (which doesn’t apply to everyone of course) seems to float on a platform of “my little Jimmy is top of the class”, “my little Esme won a gold medal for ballet”. Doesn’t that annoy you? That’s an emotion. How can you deal with it?

Let’s return to your retired life. Nothing I listed above is inevitable but at the very least it paints a picture of complexity. Here is the good news: if you are interested in getting to know yourself in terms of your identity in retired life and what your actual needs are (the activities you engage with are there to satisfy your deepest needs) then contact a retirement coach.

Perfection? Maybe not. Improvement? Why not. I am here to help you with your retired life.

Learn more about my retirement coaching program here.

Establishing a routine in retirement

Hello. I'm here to talk to you about retirement, of course. Now I'd like you to imagine that you are crossing the bridge from work to retirement. This is a critical transition in later life.

 What might be the first thing you seek to establish upon retirement? It could be a routine, that is to say a daily or weekly or monthly plan on how to live. The time of day to get up, what to do with your time etc.

 Underneath that you're probably thinking you'll need a few activities in your life. The number of activities is very personal: some people need lots, others very few. Anyway, that's a good idea because those activities will then drive your routine. So, for example, you'll have a certain time of the week for playing golf or bridge or gardening or taking a course in photography.

 I claim there is something even deeper and more personal than your activities. This is the thing that I believe gives genesis to activities and therefore routine. I am talking about your meaning in retirement. This relates to what you need to achieve to satisfy yourself: that might be charitable works to help others, or it might mean the development of certain skills you already have or seek to acquire, or it might mean the creation of a bigger social life.

 I don't know your answer, but you can find out, and sometimes a Retirement Coach can help.

You know where to find me.

FAQs on retirement.

64PLUS coaches clients who are contemplating or entering retirement. Here is a sample of questions that frequently come from clients. I have added responses that you may find useful. 

1.   People found me interesting when I had a job. How can I remain an interesting person in retirement?

Why not pick up a subject and learn more about it. You don’t have to enrol in a formal course, although there is much available on-line (and free!). There is a concept of life-long learning, although that won’t appeal to everyone’s taste. 

2.   I was hardly ever bored at work. What if I get bored in retirement? How can I cope?

There are two broad pathways you can take. You can sit with the boredom and see what emerges: possibly something unexpected. You can try new things, new activities or new approaches to old activities. Or you can try both pathways. 

3.   When I worked I was of value to my organisation and to other people. How can I be of value in retirement?

An obvious way to add value is to work in a voluntary capacity. Also you could try part-time work. What about mentoring younger people using your various skill sets? 

4.   At work I was surrounded by people. I worry that I will become isolated in retirement and that could lead to very negative outcomes.

Here’s something simple: join a group. You can find these in your community or on-line. Experiment. No-one says you have to stick to any particular group if it fails to meet your needs. 

What about working hard at your social life by making new friends and/or seeing old friends more often? Perhaps introverts won’t like this option so much, but others will. Note the deliberate use of the verb “work”. Don’t imagine that people will knock your front door off its hinges.

What does it mean to maintain visibility in retired life compared to becoming invisible. This is about making a solid transition to retirement, with the help of a retirement coach.

The case for being invisible in retirement vs the case for being visible.

In retirement there are many ways to define what suits your needs in order for you to have a fulfilling retirement. I want to look at one particular facet of this complex gem. When you cross that bridge from a working life into a retired life you always leave some things behind and take some things with you. I’ll explain what I am getting at with a particular example.

I begin with the claim that when you worked you had a level of visibility – in other words you were recognised for the work you did - whatever your job might have been. Bus drivers often get a good morning greeting, surgeons get a thanks for saving my life acknowledgement etc.

Now do you want to take that recognition and the feelings it gave you across the bridge to retirement? Your call, but let me make the case for each side,  to help you think it through.

To be invisible in retirement

Let me begin by making the case for becoming invisible after you have crossed the bridge into retirement.

Advantage 1: you are just sick to death of all of those phone calls and emails that bombarded you each day at work. Now you want to retire to a lifestyle that is a lot quieter.

Advantage 2: you are just tired of people making a mess at work and you having to clean up their problem, sort things out and make everything good. No more.

Advantage 3: after let's say 40 years of work all you can think to say is that fine Italian word “basta”: enough!

To be visible in retirement 

Now I will make the case for remaining visible after you have crossed the bridge into retirement. 

Advantage 1: for some people in retirement they at least want to be seen by others and want to be known for something that they do. To put this another way, it comes to having a sense of identity in retirement. In 64PLUS’ language that is simple the ability to confidently answer the question: what have you been up to lately?

Advantage 2: and this is not for everyone, you may want to be of value to people somewhere sometime. Perhaps it’s because you never forget those special moments at work when you get that pat on the back for a job well done. Those were great moments.

Advantage 3: perhaps the highest level of all is wanting to make a difference. There are many ways to do that, often through charitable works, but that’s not the only way.

Is there help for you to think through these matters? Yes.

Retirement Coaching as a Valuable Resource 

Retirement coaching can be a transformative resource in navigating the choice between invisibility and visibility in retirement. A coach can help you clarify your goals, address the challenges of this transition, and find the path that aligns best with your personal values and needs. Whether you’re seeking a peaceful retreat from the visibility of work or looking to stay actively engaged, a coach can provide tailored strategies and support for you.

Conclusion

I hope I've made the case for both invisibility and visibility in retirement. But most of all, the choice is yours.

You can watch this article as a video on my YouTube channel: @64PLUS93, then subscribe to get regular videos to watch.