In our society life typically has three clearly defined phases. First there is education. Then work occupies decades of our adult life. The third phase is retirement. For many people this third phase will have a 30 year time span.
At first blush you might expect that such a long phase in life has been the subject of debate and analysis, leading to the proliferation of products and services. And that is certainly true for the financial aspects of retirement.
Yet far less attention is paid to the question at the heart of this article: how will you actually live a fulfilling retired life?
What is the reason for this neglect? One reason is that retirement is still described too simply: work ends and retirement begins. But that tells us very little about the experience of retirement.
To understand this experience start by considering how your worklife ended. Were you given the gold watch after 40 years of service; or were you sadly made redundant; or did you step down to a part time position; or was illness (yours or someone else’s) the reason?
The way you leave work will influence how prepared you feel for what comes next.
Your personal vision of retirement will also matter. You may see it as a milestone achieved; or as liberation from the pressures of a long working life. Either way, the emphasis is on what has ended, rather than on what is about to begin.
There are other visions of a retired life. It could be a new beginning; or an opportunity to attempt new activities that you now have time for. This feels like an opening rather than an ending. But an open door does not instruct you on the next steps to take.
To decide where you might go, consider what your working life gave you apart from a salary.
Work gave you a reason to get up in the morning. It also imposed a routine on your days. Additionally it became part of your identity. Think how often someone asked what you did for a living. Your answer told them something about you, and probably told you something about yourself.
When those aspects of your life disappear, uncomfortable questions can emerge: Who am I now? How will I use my time?
The answers will not fall out of the sky, nor can someone else hand you a script to follow. You need to discover what is important to you. As a beginning you could reflect on these personal themes:
· What kind of social life will suit me?
· How busy do I want to be?
· Will I gain a sense of purpose by giving back to my community?
· Are there skills I would like to learn?
There are no correct answers, there are only your answers, but you can find them through personal reflection. Your busy worklife probably deprived you of that necessary time for reflection. This is where non-financial retirement coaching can help. A coach should not tell you how to live. The role of a coach is to help you uncover what matters to you and turn that understanding into a life you can begin to build.
The aim is not merely to fill your time. It is to make this long third phase of your life feel true to you.