Let’s Help Prepare you for YOUR Retirement:
No two retirements look the same - yours won't either. Below, you'll find a selection of articles written to help you put words to something you might not have realised needed articulating. Sometimes the hardest part isn't finding the answer; it's not knowing there was a question worth asking in the first place.
If you'd like a feel for how I think about retirement - or a sense of what working together might actually be like before you commit to a call - start with the blog. It's the closest thing to sitting in on a conversation with me.
Legacy in retirement
What is a legacy?
Legacy is a concept with two senses. The better understood sense is that of a financial bequest, perhaps an inheritance, from one generation to the next. But legacy also has a second, related meaning.
That second meaning comes about because each of us leaves a trace in the world, and some of that may be by accident, but if it is by design then that is a specific sort of legacy that we can ponder.
Suppose you are already retired, then your work legacy is effectively sealed in a box, a box that when opened may release fair and foul odours, but there is not a whole lot of useful work you can do on that particular legacy.
However, now that you are retired you can think about your legacy (as a trace in the world) in at least two ways.
Legacy number 1
First you can ponder the ways in which you can help other people. This may come through charity work, through devotion to family or perhaps through friendship. You now have the time and space to work on this, if you choose.
Legacy number 2
The second legacy is related to the first but subtly different, it’s the things you achieved for yourself – perhaps selfishly, perhaps altruistically – but which define the way in which people will remember you: she was a good golfer, he was a fine cook; he enjoyed classical music, she was always friendly to the neighbours.
So a trace in the world, as legacy, could be your charitable works, dedication to family and friends, or, the things you created or did for yourself: art, craft, sport etc.; but - put simply - it’s what you will be remembered for, that is, what you leave behind. And please make sure, whatever your legacy may be, that you communicate - it especially to family. They will want to know.
But how this pans out depends on how other people perceive you, a concept we wrestle with our whole lives, and which Robert Burns the Scottish poet summarised in the hope:
“Oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us.” (*)
In your professional life you may have worked in a role that everyone understood, such as bus driver or doctor.
No matter, that is in the past. Now in retirement do you feel that other people understand what you are about? Perhaps you don’t know yourself!
There is an answer. Find your meaning/purpose in retired life. Legacy could form a very important part of that meaning.
(*) From the poem: To A Louse, On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church.
Downsizing
I recently moved house. Everyone knows how challenging and complex that can be in a logistical sense; with all the packing, throwing away and unpacking involved.
I want to cover some other aspects of a move, more emotional than practical. As retirement often seems to bring into play a move of house: downsizing and sea-changing being examples; I believe that this topic is relevant to retirees.
For a start, and this applied to me, the first period of time in my new abode felt just a little bit like a holiday. Who would have thought!
The next thing to say is that, unless your move is to the house/apartment next door, you will grapple with the matter of life in a new community. In that vein, you might ask yourself these questions:
What kind of people live in your new community? Their age, their social demographic. How different are they from the people in the community that you recently vacated.
What is the street-life of your new neighbourhood? This will be determined by many factors including nearby schools, the businesses that operate there (if any), public transport, even how garbage is collected and how clean the streets are.
Am I a stranger here? As you walk around your new neighbourhood it will strike you that there is no-one who knows you, no-one you can chat with. That will change with time, if you want it to change.
Where are all the necessary shops located? You will doubtless want to find the coffee shops, cafes and food shops that are essential to your life. They may be closer or further away than they were previously.
Then, as you settle into your new living space, you may feel some regret or nostalgia, while thinking of the comforts of your previous residence. Perhaps you have fragrant memories of children, grandchildren and friends attached to your former house. I don’t think that is anything to worry about in the short-term, it seems natural. On the other hand, if you couldn’t wait to leave your old house this won’t be an issue.
Then there is the matter of the relationships you have now left behind in your old place of residence: some friendly, some neutral, some hostile, some burdensome. The choice will be yours to transport those relationships as you desire or don’t, and then build new ones in your own way and at your own pace.
Finally, there are some little things about your new house/apartment that will nag at you. At least this is what I found. Such as:
· Where did we put the colander to drain the pasta for our meal, as the pasta you just cooked goes cold in the pot?
· Remind me again where we parked the car and, in the case of an apartment block, where do we collect the mail?
Over time the unfamiliar will become familiar again. Who knows, you might then think about moving again; or not: as you remind yourself of the hassle involved.
Webinar on health in retirement
Watch and listen to me and Michelle Fritsch in a global webinar on health in retirement
Fun, production and consumption
Fun, production and consumption
We live in a consumer society. I think it is correct to say that the internet offers an infinite amount of “stuff” for you to consume. Amazing! What has this got to do with your retirement?
Well, as a worker (in whatever capacity you worked) you produced, so it’s natural to equate your retirement with consumption. You deserve it don’t you?
You do, but…as a consumer you take what is offered, whereas as a producer you can MAKE: art, craft, music, books etc.
They even say that when you are “in the flow” of making you will experience high levels of satisfaction. And even have fun.
Call to action: consume less, produce more and have fun!
To discuss this further please email jon@64plus.com.au
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.
Diaries in retirement
Diaries in retirement
Why would you keep a diary in retirement? Isn’t that something that busy, harried working people need and have? Retirement should be all about relaxation and low stress, shouldn’t it? Well yes, but…..
Here’s the thing. When you retire you will have friends and acquaintances who are still working. They will maintain diaries. That can create a problem for both of you. Here’s how.
If you fail to keep a diary in retirement then you may miss a catch-up with one of those still-working friends. Example. That friend keeps a diary so knows to meet you for coffee at 9am, but you are a no show. Oh oh, that is NOT cool.
It’s amazing how many issues arise in retirement that you don’t think about beforehand. That is why planning is essential.
If you would like to discuss these and other retirement issues please email me on jon@64plus.com.au
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.
Fulfilment in retirement
Fulfilment in retirement
Pardon the pun, but is there a difference between fulfil and fill full in retirement? That is the $64,000 dollar question. Let me explain.
In retirement you can certainly fill your days, months and years fully. There are a huge number of activities on offer to distract you: sport, TV, WhatsApp and Facebook, long lunches etc. BUT is that fulfilment for you?
Not necessarily, because there is the ever-present risk of BINAM: Busy Is Not Always Meaningful.
Turn that the other way. I claim that fulfilment comes as a result of you breathing life into your retirement, in a way that meets your basic needs and wants.
In other words the arrow should go this way
Your needs and wants >>>> the correct activities for you
Not the other way around.
Contact me on jon@64PLUS.com.au to discuss HOW you can locate your needs and wants in retirement.
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.
I'm worried about Dad
I’m worried about Dad
What is the connection between your children and your retirement? No I am not going to talk about your childrens’ inheritance. Instead I want to discuss those glorious early years/decades of your retirement. Those years in which you will have re-invented yourself after a near lifetime of work.
What will your children make of it all? Well that depends on what you tell them, or don’t tell them. I’ve heard children of retired people use the phrase “I’m worried about Dad”. This is because they fear that “Dad” is having a bad retirement.
To stop your children worrying that you are experiencing a bad retirement you could:
1. Tell the kids you are OK
2. Show the kids you are OK
3. Pretend that you are having a great retirement, when in fact you aren’t
Personally I don’t like the first alternative, I really like the second alternative, but I fear that the third alternative is all too common.
The third alternative is common because, unfortunately, in our contemporary society we don’t have commonly-accepted IDEAS about what a good retirement looks like. So what can happen?
Actions have consequences. Your children – who are now adults – will see through your ruse in alternative 3. That is when “I’m worried about Dad” can emerge.
How can you embrace the second alternative? To discuss your potential strategy, please email me on jon@64plus.com.au
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.
Shalamar
You won’t miss X until it’s gone
Popular music of the 1980s somehow managed to avoid me. In particular, I don’t recall a group called Shalamar. The title of this article comes from one of their songs. For Shalamar X was “love”, but I want to substitute X by “work”.
I want to highlight 4 things that you may miss from work when you retire: Culture, Language, A Common Cause, Beliefs.
What am I getting at here? Well, I am not talking about anything high falutin’. I only want to make a simple point.
When you leave work it becomes clear that your former co-workers continue to share that culture, language, set of beliefs and a common cause, which you no longer share with them. Why? Because you are now in retired space with its own Culture etc.
Therefore if you talk retirement with your former co-workers they are likely going to discuss it from their point of view. For example, if you ask them for retirement tips they may suggest you find work as a consultant or director. You, on the other hand, might see this as a backward step for yourself.
I admit that I missed Shalamar. If in retirement you miss the aspects of work cited above, then the question is: how can you replace them?
To discuss your potential replacement strategy, please email me on jon@64plus.com.au
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.
Listen to me on ABC radio
ABC radio interview with me:
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Boredom
Boredom 2020 Part 1. Curiosity.
Do you have childhood memories of long car trips (sitting in the back seat looking out the window when not arguing with a sibling); or visits to certain older relatives who could only deliver chin-chucks and pointless advice about how to be a nice person? Wasn’t it boring.
This type of boredom probably welled up from strong emotions of being trapped and lacking control. Can we call this situational boredom? (In the follow-up article I will identify a second type of boredom.)
In situational boredom you will also feel anxious and restless. Most of all you will be absent in your mind, as you daydream about other possibilities in that moment in time. Now let’s move beyond the instance of situational boredom to more enduring forms.
Suppose your job is not satisfying you, or your weekends seem to be devoid of desirable activities and you find yourself looking at the clock or reading the newspaper with neither enjoyment nor enlightenment. The aim is to try something radically different from your routine. Here are some ideas you can try out that may help you escape this entrenched form of boredom:
· Look at your neighbourhood in a different way. Linger to look at flowers, drink at a new coffee shop, walk down an unfamiliar street.
· Listen more closely to a friend’s point of view that you disagree with. Try to build a bridge of common beliefs, as you question your own.
· Do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. An example a friend gave me is learning to skate or rollerblade backwards. No thanks, but it sounds challenging.
Inside these three examples the word “curious” is embedded. Hence curiosity may be the antidote you need for your boredom.
The examples above are nothing more than a sample, but there are many more to try out and test to see if they suit you.
Retirement is certainly a time when you can feel bored. After all you have 7 days a week at your disposal. But if you open yourself to curiosity life in retirement doesn’t need to have you pining away under a cloud of boredom. Those first few years of retirement are too precious to waste.
You now have plenty of time to re-define your activities and re-orient the way you spend your day. Finally, the probability of sitting in the back of your parents’ car, or being press-ganged into visiting a great aunt has been severely trampled on by the march of time.
Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.