Legacy-part 2

In a previous post I discussed the concept of legacy. I avoided discussion of financial legacy, which is the most obvious form.

Instead, I preferred to concentrate on what I called one’s “trace in the world”.

A trace in the world, as legacy, could be your charitable works, dedication to family and friends, or, the things you created or did for yourself: art, craft, sport etc.; but - put simply - it’s what you will be/are remembered for; or what you leave behind you.

But this depends on how other people perceive you, a concept we wrestle with our whole lives, and which Robert Burns the Scottish poet summarised in the hope:

“Oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”    (*)

In your professional life you may have worked in a role that everyone understood (or at least they thought they did), such as bus driver or doctor; or one where most people had no idea of what exactly your job constituted.

But that is in the past, now in postwork do you feel that other people understand what you are about? Perhaps you don’t know yourself and perhaps that is a problem for you? There is an answer: find your meaning.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

(*) From the poem: To A Louse, On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church.

Value, value and values

As a worker you were valued by, and delivered value to, your employer, your clients and others: I hope. You also had personal meaning conferred on you by your work: again, I hope.

Translating this into the postwork environment, I have written more than once about the imperative to find meaning; but what about value? Do you want to feel valued? Do you want others to think that you are valuable to them? And are you doing it in a way that is consistent with your own most important values?

Alright, practically speaking you may want to sit in your garage making model boats strictly for personal pleasure. Fine, that will have value for you. It is said that Chinese artists of the past would create art – say a pen sketch on paper - and then roll up the scroll and never show it to anyone else. Also fine.

But at the other extreme, suppose you decide to donate charitable hours to working with sick people. Then I say you almost certainly will feel that you are valuable to other people, and that you will feel that you are valued by them; as part of a feedback loop. In a play on words, you are doubtless connected to one of your own deepest values; that is to help others less fortunate than you.

In summary we have the 3 Vs. To give value, to be valued, and to connect to your values. To do this you should:

·      Clarify to yourself and others what you want to achieve

·      Connect with others of like mind

·      Celebrate the various forms of the three values that you now enjoy

Is that so different from the successes that you experienced when you worked?

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Structure and Certainty Part 2

Recently I wrote about the related concepts of structure and certainty; making the point that both are a natural part of life-at-work; yet postwork both will probably disappear: together.

What is to be done?

The first thing to say is that during that initial flush of retirement there is unlikely to be any urgency. You can start by feeling what it is like to be retired. It may feel strange because, all said, it’s something you have never experienced.

Without forcing it, over time, you will likely get some ideas about the structure that you want to have in your life postwork. This will centre around activities or plans that have meaning for you, the unique you, not someone else.

Build that structure, like a house, then celebrate the construction of each room - as each room starts to place some level of certainty in your life. Champagne corks everywhere. The bigger the structure the less the uncertainty I say.

Finally, stop this process when you want. It’s your house so you can build it to the size that suits you. And remember: it’s not a permanent structure-you can rebuild it - if you wish.

What about this idea: I hear that older people in Japan work in squads to clean streets or work on gardens; whether paid or not I have no idea: perhaps as a way of giving back to the community. An interesting idea.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Structure and Certainty

Many are the differences between life at work and life in the world of postwork. Two words that come up in my discussions with clients are:

-Certainty

-Structure

Why so? To put it simply, work offers both, as it is present and demanding on any Monday morning. We know this.

On the other hand, when you stop work any structure will be self-imposed: such as routines with grandchildren, charity work, pursuit of a hobby etc.

But if you are not interested in a heavy structure – perhaps you always longed to escape from that once you finished working – then you will be dealing with a lack of certainty.

That is not a bad thing; lack of certainty can be quite liberating and lead to unforeseen opportunities.

In an earlier post I teased out the difference between wingers and planners. Same thing.

There is no right or wrong. However it is useful to acknowledge these matters. To do so can save a lot of wasted time spent in anguish over a matter that can be solved, with or without the help of a retirement coach.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Executive Coaching and Retirement Coaching

These two forms of coaching have more in common than the word “coach”. Let me explain.

When you are coached as an executive of a corporation, it’s not always in order to improve your skills on the job. Instead it’s often about better management of your behaviours and emotions at work; so that your interactions with peers, bosses, subordinates improve: all to make you a more effective employee.

On the other hand, when you are coached into retirement we don’t really talk about skills. Now the coach helps you to locate meaning in your life postwork. As a corollary this will help you to manage your behaviours and emotions better. Isn’t that a good thing, for you and family and friends?

I predict that, one day, companies will sponsor retirement coaching just as they do executive coaching. Why?

Because that will send a positive signal down the line to more junior employees. Namely that the company values its employees at all phases and times.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Lifelong learning

I didn’t know of this concept until recently. Here are some thoughts that I garnered from the internet.

1. What is it?

Lifelong learning is learning that is pursued throughout life - obviously. It has the characteristics of: flexibility, diversity and availability at different times and places. The emphasis is on learning to learn and the ability to keep learning for a lifetime.

2. What are its benefits for retired people?

There are several:

·      It might lead to involvement in voluntary activities and larger social networks;

·      Larger social networks and voluntary work are both associated with improved health;

·      Better health and increased participation in society can mean reduced healthcare costs                       and a greater individual contribution to society.

3. What are some of the outcomes?

Lifelong learning can instil creativity and resilience in people. This may enable them to show an increased ability to

·      Manage uncertainty

·      Communicate with others and build relationships;

·      Improve skills at negotiating conflict.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Choice and regret

In my February 18th post I quoted J.W. von Goethe the German writer.

The topic was about making choices in retirement. These choices I am thinking about are activities either for business or for pleasure.  But what if you lack the confidence to even commence. Well, Goethe had this to say:

“The moment one definitely commits oneself,  then…..all sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”

An aspect of this could be that people will come forward to help you, in surprising ways. But, as a precondition for this you need to be clear on your meaning and purpose behind the activity. It will help them to help you.

I contend that meaning is everything in retirement.

Also, you shouldn’t feel endless regret about the choices you didn’t make, the paths you didn’t follow. To state the obvious, making a choice logically implies choosing NOT to do other things. Fact. So why stress and feel regret.

Experiment!

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

New beginnings

Suppose you have just retired, or are about to do so, and you want to try some new things in your life. These may be activities you have perhaps neglected or want to try for the first time. What will give you the confidence to even start?

A good question and one which the (now-hardly-ever-read) German sage Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was all over. He said; at least in an English translation; and I quote with freedom:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth…..that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then…..all sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Or, in plain English: commit to a new path and see how the universe will come to your aid and surprise you.

And if it doesn’t work out?

Try something else.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

Predicting your future

I found this fascinating piece on the internet: let’s believe that it’s true for the moment.

There was a work of fiction called The Wreck of the Titan published in 1898. The author was an American called Morgan Robertson. The Titan was a large ocean liner.

The fate of the Titan was similar to that of the famous Titanic (which sank 14 years later) in many many ways, such as:

·      There were not enough lifeboats;

·      It sank in the North Atlantic;

·      It fatally hit an iceberg during the month of April, at night;

·      It had been described as unsinkable.

Let’s settle on calling this a coincidence, but also one based on Robertson’s understanding of the realities of ship travel at the time. What has it to do with retirement? Please stay with me as I develop my analogy, but this time as a story with a happy ending.

I will pose it as a question: are you able to “write the book” of your retirement and feel that you will pretty much predict a good outcome for yourself? In other words by thinking about the opportunities and risks that may/will present themselves postwork, can you figure out your own solution to what comes next in your life?

If so, this will be the opposite of a shipwreck!

More precisely, knowing more about your personal meaning in life postwork will assist you to move confidently to this next phase. A coach can help with this.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.

What does a famous writer do when he retires?

Here are two excerpts from an interview with Philip Roth.

Interviewer: Now that you’ve retired as a novelist, do you ever miss writing, or think about un-retiring?

Philip Roth: No, I don’t. That’s because the conditions that prompted me to stop writing fiction seven years ago haven’t changed. As I say in “Why Write?,” by 2010 I had “a strong suspicion that I’d done my best work and anything more would be inferior. I was by this time no longer in possession of the mental vitality or the verbal energy or the physical fitness needed to mount and sustain a large creative attack of any duration on a complex structure as demanding as a novel.... Every talent has its terms — its nature, its scope, its force; also its term, a tenure, a life span.... Not everyone can be fruitful forever.

Interviewer: Before you were retired, you were famous for putting in long, long days. Now that you’ve stopped writing, what do you do with all that free time?

Philip Roth: I read — strangely or not so strangely, very little fiction. I spent my whole working life reading fiction, teaching fiction, studying fiction and writing fiction. I thought of little else until about seven years ago. Since then I’ve spent a good part of each day reading history, mainly American history but also modern European history. Reading has taken the place of writing, and constitutes the major part, the stimulus, of my thinking life.

Read the whole article at: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/16/books/review/philip-roth-interview.html